We talk about skill which are needed to be a good
teacher, counselor, finally to be a good person.
Assertiveness is a form of communication in which
needs or wishes are stated clearly with respect for yourself and the other
person in the interaction. Assertive communication is distinguished from
passive communication (in which needs or wishes go unstated) and aggressive
communication (in which needs or wishes are stated in a hostile or demanding
manner).
What does it mean to be assertive person?
- respect
your own needs and at the same time respect the needs of the others,
- communicate
with other people in the open, directly and honest way,
- to
be clear what we feel and what we need,
- having
a open body language
- communicate
calmly without attacking the others,
- to
express your opinions, saying “yes” and “no” when you want,
- being
happy to defend your position,
-
being
confident about handling conflict if it occurs.
Communicating
Assertively
-
Communicating assertively is
expressing positive and negative feelings honestly and directly. It is based on
the belief that you have the right to be listened to and taken seriously, to
say no without feeling guilty, to ask for what you want, to make mistakes. At
the same time, you acknowledge that the other person has identical rights.
Because you are communicating honestly and openly, your relationships become
much more genuine.
-
Sometimes it is difficult to
learn to communicate assertively. You may go to the opposite extreme and
express yourself in an accusing or angry manner. Becoming assertive--like any
other skill--takes time and practice. It is important to understand that
assertive communication does not guarantee that people will agree with you or
that you will always get what you want. It does, however, enhance your
self-respect and improve your chances for enjoyable relationships.
Sometimes
people have difficulty being assertive because of certain beliefs they have.
Are there beliefs that you have that sometimes prevent you from behaving
assertively? You may believe that other people's rights and feelings are more
important than your own. You may fear that other people will be offended if you
are assertive. Being assertive may change the nature of some of your
relationships, and that may cause you concern. Or perhaps you believe that you
are not important enough to deserve to express your needs and feelings. What
are some beliefs you have that may prevent you from being assertive? Of course,
it's not necessary to always be assertive. You can choose whether to be
assertive in a given situation by asking yourself how important the issue is to
you, how you will feel afterward, and how much the consequences of
assertiveness will "cost" you. Be realistic-- don't scare yourself
with irrational assumptions or unlikely probabilities.
One
of your rights is to say "no" without having to provide an excuse.
You don't have to have reasons or answers, and you don't have to have solutions
to others' problems. If the other person continues to press you to comply with
the request, you can use the "broken record" method. This involves
empathizing with the other person but continuing to firmly say "no."
